The title probably says it all but of course I have a few things to add. Success isn't easy, I find myself struggling against all things and at times losing my way. If I make it, or when I make it, I'll look back at this particular blog and smile knowing it's times like this that will make success even sweeter.
I struggle against my mindset mainly but I also struggle against being poor and having to work for a living while trying to make money by writing. I have other aspects of my business that I'm trying to get off the ground, that contributes to my struggle. And I'm doing all this with no clear plan or clear path to how all this is going to work. I do have an idea, it's very blurry, but I do have an idea of how it will all work out. I just don't see it, at times, working out.
I keep pushing though because everything is on the line. I will forever be stuck where I'm at if I don't succeed. I need it very badly so I'll continue for the next couple of years and we'll see just what happens.
Yo, if you are reading this, just know, success isn't easy, but it will be well worth the struggle, the trouble, when you do find yourself in success.
There was a title that gave me this idea of having all guns outlawed. If you curious, here is the website that has inspired me to do this blog. Click on this website, Science Daily, to read the article called "States with permissive gun laws have higher mass shooting rates, study finds". Okay, now let me first explain that this is just giving pluses to why we should have guns outlawed. Another thing that need to be stated is that I don't care one way or the other if guns are outlawed or not. I personally don't own one because, I would be to tempted to use it. I don't need that temptation in my life.
If guns were outlawed, it is a fact that it would tremendously decrease gun violence. It would definitely decrease the deaths of black men killed by cops by firearm. In the world I'm suggesting cops wouldn't carry firearms either. Therefore any killings would be more personable. Using a gun, you can't have a personable killing. You don't really feel the life going out of the victim. We can get back to having a more creative way of killing people. Getting to know our victims. I guess there is more of an opportunity to have more bombs made. Especially since it is so simple to create one. But we would have absolutely no mass shootings and a substantial decrease in gun murders.
We need to get back to a society where we believe in getting up close, using a hunting knife, and carving someone's name into they chest after having a successful creative kill.
These things written in this blog doesn't reflect my true nature, or the opinions of this company. This is a direct reflection of the writer and the writer alone. In no way do I condone anything in this piece.
Here is some quick steps to building success. Start small by succeeding every minute of the day. Also, don't worry about what might happen or what could happen. Just prepare for the possibilities and make plans that will make your business or life easier and more prosperous. Once the plans are set, then focus on the small wins. It's the daily success that moves you through this world. Continue to have these daily successes and those days will add up and that is how you start to build success.
Now that you know how to build success, you have to figure out what success is. Success can be anything that you want it to be. It can be as simple as working an 8 hour shift for some employer somewhere. If you complete that 8 hour shift and that is how you defined success, than that day was successful. If you have a business, define what daily success would look like and then have you a successful day.
Don't confuse success with not achieving a goal or realizing a dream. They can be the same but a dream is something that is attainable but not something that should define success. I have a dream and one day it will be realized but for now I'm still striving for it. A goal might be missed but it can be reset and I can try again tomorrow. For an example, I can set a goal for my site to have 100 visitors in one week. However, I defined success as completing multiple steps through out the day. Success for me is making sure, I contribute something artistic at least once a day, making sure that I take some time for myself that is enjoyable, and going over my plans for my business. If I completed these steps then I had a successful day. My goal for having a 100 visitors may or may not be achieved but this doesn't define my overall success for that day. If I do not achieve this goal, I can extend it until I meet. So if I meet on day 2 or day 50 then it still is a success because I successfully completed this goal. Same as a dream, If I had a dream that I owned my own business then when ever I get those business license it would be a success. No matter how long it took me to realize that dream.
I have a greater chance of succeeding in life, if I make sure I enjoy success everyday while working on my dreams and goals.
Black people are generous.
Black people are intelligent.
Black people are loving.
Black people are one of the best customers to have.
Black men are good fathers.
Black women are good mothers.
Black men make good husbands.
Black women make good wives.
Black people are professionals.
Black owned business listens to their customers.
I know this because I am black and I have witnessed this from black
people.
I failed. Yes, I failed but everything that I've listened to says to keep going. The truth is I've learned a lot trying to start my own business and I will incorporate everything that I've learned.
Scripted Imagery will still be around but it just won't be publishing sites or publishing books in the manner that it was constituted. Scripted Imagery will be in some form of publishing, just not sure how yet. What I do know is that Scripted Imagery will be building it's brand.
My focus would be collecting works to display on my website and to continue to write stories, poetry, and blogs.
Just a quick synopsis on my idea of freedom. I'm artistic and I don't restrict myself at all. But to me, this is not freedom. Being restricted or not restricted does not determine my freedom. And because of this I don't ever feel the need to lie. I don't feel the need to give any information either. So, how am I able to do this?
Number one, and probably the only one I need to list, I don't allow anything on this earth to rule me, move me, or excite me. I should also add that I refuse to let anything control me.
Number two, I truly don't give a fuck. I do what I can do and that is all I can do. So whatever consequences I receive, I just receive and react to it. That's all I can do and that is all that I will do.
So you can't tempt me with money, offer me pussy, shower me with gifts, threaten your friendship, threaten to exile me, or even threaten to kill me. I truly don't give a fuck about any of these things to the extent that I will allow it to make my decisions.
I do believe in God, and I have belief in myself that I can enjoy life with or without any of those things. My life is here currently but if it was to be taken away then so be it. If you want me to do something and you try to use any of the aforementioned things then good luck. The only way I'm doing something, is if I want to do whatever task that has been set before me. To me, this is freedom. I do whatever the fuck I want to do.
The title of this blog maybe a little compounded. However, I am in a great place in life. I wasn't always good, I wasn't always happy, but life is amazing for me. And I'm going to tell you how I got there.
First and foremost, the main ingredient to my success in finding happiness is to be authentic. Integrity is a strong thing. Because of this, people know, if I do something for them, there will be no short cuts. This includes relationships. I don't short change any person I come in contact with. And for people I think this brings up a level of respect for me.
The next thing that should be added to your character would to be actively nice. Not only nice, though, be some what of a servant. Being nice and doing things for them adds that approach-ability. People generally don't suspect something is up because you're a genuine (Authentic) person. You're doing things because you want to.
The final piece you would need to add to your character would be, make sure you put your self first in everything. If you don't have it to give, then don't give. With having this then you would be able to say no when needed. And having the previous two ingredients then people respect you for your answer. They will also no that you're not cheating them.
Of course you will have those people that will say this and that. Will call you selfish. But they are pretty much doing this to manipulate you. Cause, if you think about it, you don't have to do anything for anybody. If you remember this you will always have your sanity and you will confident in saying no without feeling bad about it. Just remember you can't control what people think or what people say. You know yourself and the reasons for doing or not doing something. So what they don't believe you. If you do things with integrity then others will see the truth and look at the people saying shit like they ass crazy.
I've given away over $1,000 in the last 4 months. I've done it for different reasons. One wasn't grateful at all, another was pretty grateful but she was looking for love and needed help all at the same time. And one was grateful from the beginning, the way she turns out is another thing all together. How I see it is, that the Lord is blessing them and I have nothing to do with it. The way I feel though is totally different and I guess, that is what this blog will be about.
Let's first talk about my motives. I don't quite understand myself or the things that I do. I know that's strange or unbelievable but it's true I absolutely know not why I do what I do. I however, don't feel like what I do is pure. I feel like their is some underlying evil about my giving. I ignore this and just allow whatever happens to happen. I've cut each one off except for this most recent one. And if the past predicts the future then she would be cut off in a couple of months.
So there was this one girl that I saw wanted a Christmas gift through cash app. I gave her $50.00. She begged and begged until I ended up giving her around $500.00. She provided me with videos and wanted me to be her daddy. I'm not going to lie, she was sexy and the idea did turn me on but I could never fully trust her and trust that it was me or my mind that she was completely interested in so I politely ignored that request. I just showered her with compliments but didn't let it go further then that. She continues to this day request for money and she'll send me random videos and I guess that part is not that bad and overall she's not bothersome anymore but the first time I told her know she had a temper tantrum. A complete stranger who did nothing but gave her funds and she just seen that I said no. From that point on she received no more dollars from me.
Person number 2, she was a bit different. She hit me up on Facebook and I was on vacation. A perfect mix, I decided to chill with her. I dropped knowledge on her and introduced her to my writing and my website. I actually enjoyed spending time with her. Knowing her situation I blessed her without even asking me. I helped her with her car and replaced the brakes after someone replaced one side and refused to do the other side. I did that for free. But she wanted more, she wanted a relationship, a relationship I couldn't give her. This turned our relationship into something I did not recognize. I barely saw her anymore. She only hit me up when she needed money, which was fine. I gave it when I could. And when my mind wouldn't let me, I didn't. She never tripped when I couldn't so everything was good. But then she got upset with me when she thought I was ignoring her (I wasn't for the record). She did something that I hated. She hung up on me, twice! (I really hate this)So I decided to distance myself from her. Still assisting when I could. The last straw (probably because it hurt my feelings) was when she called me several times. I finally returned her call and I talked to her for about 15 to 20 minutes. No where on that phone call she asked me for money but what she did was told me to check my Facebook before we ended the phone call. I told her that I would once I got home. I'm rarely on the book while I'm at work. I got home and checked my Facebook and saw that she sent me a message asking for some dollars. I don't remember if I would have given it to her or not but what followed that message was a couple of sexy pics of her pussy and ass. Now don't get me wrong I loved it but I was disappointed because, one she could of asked me for money when we were on the phone and two, she sent those pictures right after asking me for money. That, to me, had a sugar daddy type of feel and I didn't know that was the type of relationship we were having. And since that's not what I want to be then I cannot continue you having anything to do with her.
This third person that I just gave money to, she had asked me for money through Instagram. Just being nice I decided to send it to her. I left it at that but she did not. She wanted to know who sent her that money so she asked for my number through cash app. I did not give her my phone number but instead, I hit her up on Instagram and I told her that I just gave her money just because. She thanked me and I figured that would be hit. She sent me a request for some more money through Cash app. I accepted the request and sent her some more money. And it was left like that but it must have weighed upon her and she needed to know why, I did that. It could also be the vibe that she got but in either case it is left up to time to see what the outcome of this relationship will be.
I don't know if it's being in my forties, forty-two to be exact. But I feel that you will know fairly quickly if someone isn't the person. Now you might not know by just talking to a person, unless you have been talking for a while. I know, for me, I haven't liked anyone for longer than 2 dates.
So that first paragraph was written awhile ago. Not sure how long but it was when I was forty-two. Now in the bigger scheme of things that doesn't really matter but the reason I'm keeping that paragraph is because it is facts. With that said, I am forty-three now and there is somebody I'm interested in. I'm pretty sure I went through countless women to get to this point but I finally feel like she's the one. One reason is we been on 3 dates and had countless hours of speaking to each other. There is just one problem. I respect so much that I can't start dating her right now. So all I can do is woo her, do nice things for her but this is starting to drive me crazy. My mental make up not normal and my whole shit just start flipping.
The great thing about me being me is that I have a lot of me's. I can escape this reality and focus on my dreams and let my fantasy come to life when that appropriate time comes. I will close with this, that it is absolutely true that a Man knows fairly quickly if this is the woman that he wants.
I was watching "A Football Life" and I noticed some of the players that had 2 separate careers forming one. Randall Cunningham in particular got me thinking why this can't be me. Yes I'm a writer but I'm not a dedicated one. Doing everything but writing. I'm not sure what it is that I'm afraid of. Then I got to thinking that I need to stop thinking, worrying about my writing career. I need to just dedicate myself to doing things that I love doing and let everything fall into place.
With everything I said in the last paragraph I do still wonder when I'm gone where my place in history will be. So I began to think about the people that are around me. Now I know this doesn't fit in the terms of legacy but I'm going to write about anyway. It takes a team to get where you want to go but ultimately it takes a dedication a work ethic that helps you succeed. You have to be a leader of the team you put together. I have to cut the ones that are dragging me down or keeping me in place. I also have to network and recruit the ones that have vision, drive, and integrity. Not everyone is going to be a fit on your team and that's okay.
I will forge my own legacy and leave my own mark on history. I will tell my own story because I am a writer. The way I'm going to get there is to build my team. My team will be a team of visionaries.
I have been a prisoner for the majority of my adult life. Let me first say that I didn't even know I was prisoner, or I failed to realize that I was one. And I don't quite remember how it came to me that shame was holding me back but I was watching a Maya Angelou video. The strength she displayed, the things that she faced. My first thought was I didn't go through all what she went through so what was my problem? Then I realized that I was ashamed of what happened to me. So ashamed I'm not even sure that I can even put it out there. Can I even write it. This tells me that it some strange hold of me. Why did I have to experience this. After all this years, why do I feel like it devalues me?
So I had to stop writing or I couldn't write anymore; not sure which it is. However, I feel much better than that night. I've cried for the first time since I was six. Not sure I feel any better and I'm not sure if I buried or healed from my past. The shame is still there but I did reach out to two of my friends; closest friends. I told them how I felt and the response I received did make me feel better.
Now I have to work on building my self worth and self-esteem. Which I never thought I had a problem with until I started therapy. I'm not sure how I hard or how easy it will be but what I do know is that I have people that can make me feel better.
One last thing I want to say about shame. I don't understand why it would stick with me for this long buried subconsciously. I would think time would have just erased that. All of that. It's hard to say what happened. I wish I made different choices to what happened. The worst part is I feel like no one even understands.
I just finished writing this poem. I'm not sure I love it but it is truth. I feel as if she is my fantasy waiting to be my reality. Because of this, it feel as if my life hasn't really started. Some things happen that I don't really want to happen and I had to call on another part of me that I probably shouldn't have called upon. But I need to make these next 4 weeks go as fast as possible.
I don't know how to explain how you feel someone matches you perfectly. It makes me think how do people find such people. She's not the typical woman I would have actually gone for. It's only because I've seen her thoughts and seen that she was of age why I reached out to her. I'm extremely happy that I did and now I just need to make moves that will help me obtain the start of my life. And the way I'm doing it right now isn't the way. Some women don't get it and it appears that I might have been to friendly. So now I have to bring the asshole back so I can be here when my life starts. She is my life
