I wonder what kind of livin, is not givin' 2 fucks, spendin time chillin'
Workin' shit I love, breathin my dreams, live in my own fantasy
Buildin' my own story, creating my own history
My love connection with my own innocence, enjoyin' my own presence
doin' relationships my own way, livin life at my own pace
Been so long since I been free in my own space
Listenin' to music with no stress, no depression, no action
Feelin' the words that they sprayed, thinkin' of my own song
How I wish I can erase my mind from the clutter that this world laced up confusion
grown, when you livin' you can't live wrong
stay real, don't live to belong, stay strong
finally feel like life is ok to be alone
do what make you happy, don't worry, stay stress free
live with purpose, treat people how you want to
these are the things I wanna do
No longer will I live for the view of others
I wish this, I'll live this, I'll practice this
I will bathe in my own words and imbue this essence
This, I believe, is where happiness lye
This, I believe, is where God empowered me with
Livin, writing, lauging and forever doing my own thing
© Wayne Diggs
It's about time I follow my dreams, My daughter eighteen
free from over priced child support, Not trying to be mean
but fuck friends and family, I now see they weren't meant for me
Visions of finally being happy, solo missions of making money
Perfect opportunity to ditch love and any connection to the possibility
Work and play, night and day, no time for the unnecessary
Scripted Imagery through God is my redemption story
I look back at my history and seen I was best when I said fuck the rest
and I mean fuck the rest, I need to go all out
make best what was presented to me, live life no worries
my fucking motto, I'm the motherfucking lotto
Finally free, let my imagination put me in position to make history
It's funny how people think they know what's best
but they life is no better than yours, a complete mess
and I confess, I never really listened in the first place
but I did let fear take root in the deepest part of my existence
Now forty and considered old, a has been who has never been
no education no experience, no legendary existence
odds stacked up cause I have no clue on anything I'm doing
But I swear God spoke to me through me, preaching faith
He said silently, get money, by any means necessary
No need to interpret incorrectly, I'm going to explain exactly
the meaning to the message that was presented to me
Step one, focus on your dream, do you
allow no one to interrupt what you do
Step two go all out, a million dollar work ethic
produces riches beyond what you can expect
Step three, never lose faith even if your vision gets blurry
Step four, ignore the critics and keep making your money
Remember God created you and he the only judge
Now take your position, this your life
and you the only one who can live it.
© Wayne Diggs
I'm on a mission, sort of chasin'
that thing that been missin'
that part of life that should be part of mine
quite ripe, quite ready to shine
so many obstacles, so much stress
but I'm alive, living with less
so I must take and push forward
conquer or be conquered
if you listen, they provide the recipe
so it's left up to me
to recreate my story
you hear me
the game is given freely
success is right there
you just not gonna get there
by sittin' in that chair
million dollar work ethic
plan your shit be strategic
and you'll see the riches that you seek
keep trying never give up
this shit not produced by luck
no longer will I dream it
I will create it, I will make it
I will take it!
It will not stay hidden from me
I will expose it and grab my opportunity
My effort will continuously be my best
this is how I will achieve success
© Wayne Diggs
I throw a few lines together, building a new character, one block after another
but it seems like I still come to the same person, the fantasy, picture perfect,
what's wrong, the truth, I don't belong, when I see em, I wanna bleed em,
notion that I can be good, this notion is not understood, personal homicide
the feeling I just can't hide, trying to rationalize the reasons to see em not
breathing, not living, I imagine the joy it would bring, the pleasures I would
feel, knowing that I completed the deal, for some reason though, I know, the thrill
would disappear just as quick, manipulation of some strange emotion, the devil's trick
contemplated just taking my own life, but so much of that I don't like, so I just
sit here in the dark, with that occasional spark, listening to the words of all
around me, regulated to my secret fantasy, searching for other ways to keep me
happy, writing, building characters, creating adventures, death to the ones in my
head, letting those read and figure out what really happened, real life shit,
real death in it, the balance that God created, one comes one goes, who knows
that I know we got creators and we got removers, in between we have the wide
range of emotions, that get strung by a simple move of some eclectic shit
to come to think of it, it's the characters I create, or they've been here
I just take them out and put them there, they on their own create their own
stories, like I'm some God or something, building a world full of people and
giving them free will, and still, the thrill of knowing this shit is real
yet a complete fantasy, a secret that remains with me, again and again and again
I feel the origin of my life is written long before I was here as I'm writing
the thoughts of those that came before me, or was I before them, or are they a part
of me?
© Wayne Diggs
So many battles. So much doubt. An abundance of questions. The strength I need,
the constant talks I keep. But I gotta keep going. Have to keep moving. Gotta
find the heat. Gotta stay in the game so I can compete. To old to keep moving
backwards. Ain't shit back there but trouble. Confused minds and perhaps glimpses
of happiness. What's not back there is success. Maybe the keys, but I need to
alleviate the failures, embrace the pressures, and conquer my fears. Can't allow
relationships to remove me from my destiny. To finally find what it is to be happy.
To make a living of writing and entertaining. To enjoy what God has promised me.
Fuck this misery shit. Lived it to long, ready to split. Death my favorite subject
but I've been opened to something so perfect. There's nothing that can describe it.
But I found how to live it. Just gotta put together the puzzle so I can have access
to it. It's hard to. My mind have been compromised from the beginning. Not sure
what's wrong with it but it's no ending it. Refused to let that shit define me though.
Gotta keep pushing even if I don't know where to go. Dead broke and my business is
on life support. I finally see the ones that's pushing me not to abort. Constantly
visiting my site, keeping it a float. Wishing I could reward for the loyalty. There
from the beginning, appreciate you contributing to the thing that will make me
financially stable. And when I'm able, I will make sure I do more than recognize.
Cause I realize the real prize is the fans you have. The ones who take an interest
in your work and push you to deliver better. Promise that I'll never forsake the
ones who asked for more. Even when I didn't give you something that you liked
you still gave another chance and read another piece. It's people like this
that keeps me moving towards success. And I'll keep pushing, never half stepping
putting the work in, delivering my best and, remain true to the process while
forever chasing success.
© Wayne Diggs
I remember when, no I remember the moments throughout life. I mean yes
even then, I remember when, every day was a win. I enjoyed life, never
realized that I had no strife, that those days that I experienced every
emotion was a, still is an enjoyment that day to day, I get to experience.
I get to experience the range and then write about the feelings and come
back and read it in my later years and smile or cry or whatever the
writing seems to invoke at that time, every line, every rhyme, I wrote
for my own enjoyment and if anyone else enjoy it, it make it that much
better. Think God finally made it clear to me, the meaning to being happy.
The simple joy that he had placed in me, the simple skill of creating
poetry. It doesn't stop there, when I listen to art, see music, or listen
to someone dancing, and experience the very meaning, the same I get when
I'm reading, reading everything from my own to someone else's creation
It's a certain elation that is brought on by this. Damn I'm feeling good
right now, and I wonder if I will every remember just how. Maybe I need
to capture it and writing the answer to it, no matter the form, the style
just capture so future me will read it and smile. Capture the defeat, the
failures, the happiness, and everything from the stress free to the things
that causes the stress. I started how saying I remember when, well I remember
when, I felt like every day was a win, that day would be today, but also
yesterday, even if I feel that sorrow, just know that I can look back
tomorrow and see that I captured every feeling in this one written poetry.
I'm all over the place from writing here to writing there. Poetry to stories,
creating different anthologies, mind jumbled nothing clear. It's funny so many days
yet not a damn thing written, just coming back, listening to some old school shit
Straight up menace, the old school explicit shit, thinking back how I used to rap
but those dreams never materialized and I had a baby, working a nine to five
trying to survive my own stupidity and make sure I keep my baby alive
constant fights with my daughter's mother, trying not to be like father
DMX barking on Pandora, still writing my story, the middle, end, beginning
This shit got my head spinning, wishing, that gun real, nah just my imagination
stuck wit no heat, my fingers cold, starting to feel this misery, writing making
me so damn unhappy, nah, that's the music sun, keep your head up and keep writing
one day, this shit gonna make you the right type of money, how do you not feel
like you losing? Trying to pick spots to place these writings, I just want to be free
I wanna be free in my own damn head, my own damn spot, but the sad truth is that I'm not
captive of the worlds rules, your fucking rules, How can I be creative if I'm constantly
worried about your judgement of my shit, especially when you have no idea if I fucking
meant it. Tupac playing, I draw inspiration from him, even at the age of forty
I'm a straight rida, this music comforts me, when I was a kid before the baby
I wrote poetry for me, it happened to be performed on stage as my release to society
but things were right. Looking for the proper philosophy to live my life stress free
Oh that was the best years, best writings, care free, searching constantly
but then I was unfortunately blessed with the greatest gift but it meant I had to grow
up and learn from it. Yea my daughter changed me, stressed me, having a relationship
was hard because of the mother being so damn hard to work with
Now Mystikal blessing my ears with his unusual style
bumping his first track in my Chevrolet Cavalier
This man right chea, bumping, I'm riding, picking up women, feeling like the king
No one could enter my vicinity, my presence was felt, a power that existed because
I was living care free, poetically blessed with the gift to gab
how certain music bring certain parts of yourself out that you had long forgotten
back to my writing, I remember the day that I was reunited with my writing
It was back in 94 when I dropped out of High School, yea I was a fool but that
shit really wasn't for me, not sure if I had the proper guidance to show me that
I was making a mistake but I had to learn the hard way over decades to realize
that I wasn't shit cause I didn't allow myself to have opportunities
But now I'm finally making something of myself and I guess I'll end this writing
this half poetry, half blog, half nonsense, to let you people know I appreciate
those who read through this whole piece.
© Wayne Diggs
I'm deciding to keep this in here because it was real. It was
straight from my emotions and it also shows that not all my shit come
out right. Hopefully you did get something from this.
Thanks!
If only you knew how much I've been digging you, the things I dream that we do
perfection in your making, the artistic lines that curves the silhouette of your body
is a magnificent display of God's great eye. And I can't help but man your side,
even if it's checking my pride, or leaving it outside of your presence, I do this
cause your essence is strong and beautiful, and it makes me rise my level beyond any
man that tries to occupy your time. They never realizing the lines isn't penetrating
your mind. And though you may find these lines creative and interesting, they don't
stand up to my intellectual penetrating vibes along with my display of oral perfection
causes you to be drawn in, finding yourself in a creative conversation learning something
that you never knew men can do. And not to think highly of myself but I know I'm a King
and I recognize a Queen and bring the best out of any that chooses to stand by me.
Relevant curiosity peaks many, however my interest lye deeper then you can even fathom
My perception is in search of your truth, my poetic verbs brings out what's you, and if
you only knew, the beauty that I see, you would agree, that no one but God can master
your complicated nature. But what I can offer you, is a man that can comprehend your
vary essence, maintain the power in your soul, and remain strong in the wake of your
many moments of despair. Now this could be interpreted as me just speaking, dropping
dimes, fantasy leaking, but the opposite is true, if you only knew, that my world
is built on honesty. That my spirit causes me to look internally and make sure that
I'm on a level beyond looking at my end game but to look at the blessing that God
brings to me daily, and him creating you, is a masterpiece that challenges me to be
one thousand times better, one thousand times smarter, one thousand times kinder, but
ultimately, one thousand times stronger. Because of this, you make me, my spirit,
my mind, and my essence to be placed in paradise. Knowing this makes me appreciate
the you of you. The artistic build of the building blocks of the information that
travels the consistency of your make up. If you only knew, how much, that I'm digging
the physical display of your natural state. And this cannot be overlooked nor can it
extrapolate from the true meaning but neither can I stand and say I'm not drawn by
the gifts that you have been bestowed. Your walk, your stand, your beauty is
constantly showed. Impossible to be ignored but my strength to communicate without
being caught up and lost in the greatness of your beauty makes me a worthy member
of your presence. Giving me the ability to capture your essence. My brilliance
allows me to make you realize that you are with someone who is beyond extraordinary.
If you only knew, by the end of this poetical spewing, you are now intertwined with
me. Captured by my oral poetry, displaying your future through manipulating images
in your brain, subconsciously falling for me, not realizing that this was destined
to be, before I even spoke the first word, it's called chemistry, God created you
for me and I for you. And this is, if you only knew.
© Wayne Diggs
My legacy ain't shit and I admit, I don't give a fuck about it
People gonna see what they wanna see but what they can't do is control my spirit
Got visions on how I can make money, God gave me the path to make it a possibility
Now I gotta build my team, my army, and follow WU Tang, Cash rule everything around me
Cream, use every possible resource to make this shit happen, No laggin
cutting the niggas that ain't doing shit, just straight flaggin
This is my reincarnation, silently moving my weight, shit never to late
Remembering the shit that was said about me, fuck them, I control my own fate
Gotta leave the keys to success, so my daughter don't have to find the shit on her own
Turn stress into money, turn our failures into our opportunity, leave this fucked up situation alone
leave niggas behind make them wonder where the hell I've gone
But this shit won't be about them, it'll be about me and my team
building shit that we once thought would just be a dream
This will be my theme, lasting memories driving our success
And put in place a plan that will make us obtain the best
And thought I don't give a fuck, this will be my legacy.
Old and ain't shit, to becoming wealthy
© Wayne Diggs
I wish I was smart enough to write something eloquently
I wish I was dope enough to produce poetry intelligently
I wish I could expose my emotions gracefully with these keys I push
I wish this world wouldn't force me to write about this ish
I wish these people wouldn't cause the anger in me to rise
I wish the air would escape from me so he wouldn't meet his demise
I wish I could make these motherfuckas understand that their time is coming
I wish I could write everything into a better place
I wish that I could make them see a human face
But these wishes won't be fulfilled, instead we steadily getting killed
The more I write the more I can't breathe, whether I'm running or standing still
These blue motherfuckas still acting ill, shoulda took the blue pill
Maybe then I won't see these motherfuckas in my dream
Shit was peaceful until I hear them screams
Last words, screaming for his dead mother
Last words, I can't breathe motherfucker
Last words, you on my neck
Last words, can't respect
a person who disrespect
the flag, are you fucking kidding me
this flag is a constant reminder of the disrespect
that this motherfuckin country seems to display yearly
I wish I could write these things clearly
I wish I could write something more eloquently
I wish the cop that stopped Sandra Bland saw a person
but that blue nigga didn't think she belong
so he took her off the streets
she died hung by them sheets
probably the same sheets that all these blues wore back in the day
got me wishin again, wishin I wasn't insane, wishin there was a way
but these damn wishes won't be fulfilled, instead we steadily getting killed
The more I write the more I can't see why them bullets drilled
He was just 12 years old, but them blues don't really feel
So we gotta make the whole world feel this anger
But people only react to the reaction ignoring what caused the disorder
They condemn the rioters without condemning the gruesome acts of these blues
All you see on these damn news is the people that have been abused
But nobody takes the time to realize if this shit didn't happen this shit wouldn't happen
but they ignore the fact and shake their head in disgrace and cry about this place
but if they just realized, that if it wasn't for his race, today we would see his face
Alive and shit and they would see the misunderstanding over a twenty dollar bill
but all these motherfuckas wanna talk about is the safety of those blues that kill
It will get worse if they continue to ignore black lives matter
No justice no peace, keep going and see us react with more anger
This is not a threat, this is human nature
There is no more wishing, just straight preparing
now we demanding, so there best be things we see changing
We not about that being treated as 2nd hand citizens
We walked carefully for too damn long, it changes nothing
Stay silent and watch yourself get caught up on the wrong side
Stay silent, showing your truth, you're the cause of the divide
Stay silent, thinking you can ignore the last words
Listen, I can still hear them all sharing the same verbs
Rice, Bland, Garner, Castille, Brown, Gray, Clark, Grant, Sterling, Bell
DuBose, Scott, Clark, Crutcher, Hockaday, Ford, Gurley, McDole, Ferrell
All these damn names and it don't begin to tell the story of all the people killed
So I do wish that wishes could be fulfilled but as you can see we losing our lives still
I couldn't stay silent but forgive me for not being able to write
but I thank God I still have a voice and am able to write tonight
But so many that have my skin tone is dead and gone
so my ineloquent writing today will be shown
© Wayne Diggs
Listening to music of my time, decided to write a rhyme
poetically engineering these lines, reminiscing of past times
I was young with the ladies pretending and shit
spitting some explicit shit, being all poetic
Sexual fantasy I was providing, stayed writing
They stayed eating, couldn't get enough of my sexing
Went to jail felt like that nigga when I was out
Foolish little nigga screaming bout it bout it
I was so ignorant to that shit
but I enjoyed life, not growing up thinking I was old
stayed lit, no nigga was as bold
played that shit like it was my role
Did whatever I wanted, tried anyone who wanna try it
moving to spots, smoking drinking, never forget it
Yes, back to my time, listening to music of my time
Yes, I'm really old now, still writing lines
Not as hard as my youth, softened by time
but every now and then you can find a rhyme
search through my works and see the age
the growth, descension or ascension through each page
Might be a tape or two of me on stage
finessing the draws off the womens
Absolutely had no idea I was fucking with they feelings
Just was using my gift to feel something
Loved the attention it was bringing
Didn't realize this was not nourishing
My soul was dying
But I stayed going, stayed moving
Never healing from these past times
Just writing empty lines
Just writing empty lines
© Wayne Diggs
A thousand times I tried to write the perfect rhymes but every time
I find myself erasing each line. So I think back to the time
I grabbed your number and text you multiple lines.
I introduced to you the attributes that I brought to the table.
Nervously texted you if you were able. Able to eat with me on
my birthday. And I must say, that was the longest weak. I recall
just being able to text you cause I couldn't speak. Anxiously
waiting for that moment we sitting face to face. Many couldn't
see what I see and this is what makes it difficult to do this
poetry. Fast forward to today the day before our Riverwalk date.
I wanted to string a few lines together but at this rate, the
fate of this piece relies heavily on things that are not quite
clear. What isn't clear you maybe wondering and I will illustrate
as long as I have your ear. But first I need to set a standard
for this writing, I need to find the direction I want to go and
the emotions I want to bring. You see we are in limbo between what is
and to be. Not quite ready for confession but beyond knowing this
opportunity can lead to matrimony. My poetry usually have some
intended consequences but I don't know what I want from you
that I don't already have and I already wrote about how amazing
you are and I'm wishing I knew exactly what lines I want to
place together to make you feel like you're number one in
this world that I would love for you to be my forever girl.
How do I illustrate this particular wish when we already on
this path? And since this has yet not happened can this be
some type of epitaph? See nothing quite fits so I write my
frustration to you and suggested a change. A change to my name
where I'm no longer Poetically Engineered but Silently Wordless.
That's when it hit me. I can write this poetry, this spoken word
To show how you affect me in the most brilliant ways. How I am
constantly loving how I'm always amazed. See I wrote something
earlier that I couldn't make great. Especially something not worthy
of your stature. But what I wrote was pure and I can bring it
all together in this piece. Now I know what I want and what
I want you to feel. Things are finally clear and I can deliver
this spiel. I don't want it to feel like that though. It just the
word that best fits the flow. And before I begin, I need to let
you in, fulfill my unmentioned promise, to tell you what wasn't
clear and to do this, I have to paint a picture with words
and imagination. This writing had no direction in the beginning,
and I wanted to write you something but I had nothing
but then I just started writing what I could not. I started
reminiscing on our beginning. Then I came to our present and
wrote my frustration to deliver to you something brand new
but now this has turned into a piece to perform. And that's okay
cause I now I know what I want to do. Instead of gaining something
I want to give you something and now is the time to begin.
Let you know why I am Poetically Engineered and have you feeling
enthralled. Poetically infused with brilliance because I finally met
you. My excitement is caused by your being and how you can visualize
with me. How every scenario presented you know you. You're willing
to travel nowhere and everywhere even though we're there and here.
You entertain my thoughts and dreams and we talk about many things.
You're open and you allow me to be calculated in my delivery. Each
day I trust you more and more. And each day I want to share more
and more. Forever and ever populates in my mind and I we can figuratively
say we swung open the door. Inviting each other in being vulnerable
and sharing what we would not otherwise in any other situation.
I'm starting to have a perfect read on you and as I do this I'm
extremely excited to enjoy something new. Something different, something
that I can finally see is worth investing in. Something that will
continue all the way to the end.
© Wayne Diggs
I don't know where to start, fulfilling my dreams creating this art
trying to find my place in this realm, playing my part
It's been a minute since I wrote like this, keys pushin to music
surrounded by the air no one to witness, this constant work
searching for the words, searching for that piece,
knocking my brain, pain absorbs, no where to file a grievance
Thinking if I should stop but something keeps pushin me
So I speed up the pace no stopping now moving constantly
Talk to myself you on the path don't let no one stop your progress
False distress signals applying pressure to cause stress
shorten my breath take a deep one and hope my moves are moving
in the right direction, catch it, keep striving, keep proving
watch the milestones, rework goals, surpass them and create more
notice when you stop thinking and start doing things happen in your favor
Glad to be apart of this creativity, the gifts God blessed me with
Money is just the beginning, conquering my world on a continuous path
Found her now searching for the right keys to continue this positivity
Knowing she will push me out of love in the right direction to fulfill my destiny
and maybe my search is over in that respect but I think I should never stop searching
I have to find the right keys to help bring this family into a place
where wealth is a by product and health of the mental state
is more than a conversational piece but perfect health of the mental state
leaves traces of love and perfection and God bless us with the health of the physical
Don't know why I ever really stopped but I promise you I will adopt
the no break rule, short quit, but quick break, and right back to it
So much inspiration around me so much come through me
listening to music seems to always inspire me
so even through this poetry I speak life into myself to continue the search
never stop looking, continue working, don't stop pushing
and stay true to all that I believe in
And through this writing I realized that all that searching
All that looking, and it was here the whole time
the whole time I'm searching for searching, there is no ending
